Porn
Posted by secretlynaughty on June 28, 2009
I was having an IM conversation with a friend about work when he mispelt a word which he then declared to be porn.
I wouldn’t know as I am not the slightest bit interested in porn.
There isn’t a lady in the land who is interested in porn
We then went on to discuss the fact that although men enjoy porn very few women do. But I do enjoy erotica well I would do wouldn’t I as I write it as well as read it. What many men get wrong is that they confuse erotica with porn. Many men think that I like erotica and writing about sex therefore I must like porn. But the whole point is that erotic writing allows you to make the images in your own mind. You can put yourself there in the situation you are reading. Porn is just watching/looking at other people having sex. Watching others in the act of sex is not sexy. But imagining yourself having sex is much sexier. Obviously there are men who can paint a picture with their words but most prefer to have the pictures whether that is stills or moving pictures. For them that is all the stimulant they need.
The majority of men just like sex, so it doesn’t matter who the sex is with, it is a physical thing for them. They can be turned on easily by visuals. Women need more than that, we need a mental connection for the sex to be good. Looking at pictures is very impersonal, there is no intimate connection between the woman and the person/people in the picture. This makes it harder for women to be turned on by visuals. But give woman well written descriptions and her mind takes her there, she can imagine these things are happening to/by her. Now she can be easily aroused.
When I first began writing a sex blog I was quite explicit in wht I wrote but then I realised that I was writing more for the men who were reading it than for myself or the other women who were reading it. Gradually my style evolved so that now I write more about the setting and the feelings and emotions of sex rather than the mechanics of it. I am sure that most men would be more than happy for me to describe every lick, every touch every pump, all the minute details of what each of us did to each other. Each moan, curse and shriek that goes with all the action.
Although I like writing about sex, it arouses me all over again when I write it all down, I prefer to be sketchy with the details and let your own imagination show you what I was doing. I hope that both men and women enjoy what I write. Whether it is an account of my own affairs, a fantsy either born of my own imagination or the product of another’s, or perhaps just my ramblings on about sex.
If you came here today hoping to find porn then you will be disappointed, but if you were looking for sex/erotica then I hope you find something to please you.
Do you prefer porn or erotica or are you happy with either?
Are you a woman who enjoys porn?
distracted said
Yes! I am a woman who loves porn. All kinds. Dirty pictures get me going just as much as written words. I don’t need a plot with my porn and I don’t need to put myself in the place of the participants. Maybe I am the exception rather than the rule.
ronjazz said
I do like some porn. Women with natural bodies who can express themselves verbal and vocally in a sexual setting absolutely turn me on. It’s the fake breasts and the men who fuck like machines that create NOTHING for me. So in that context, erotica is a welcome change. You know that I write it out here, too. Thank God you can’t really fake an orgasm in erotica…:)
RenegadeEvolution said
woman who likes porn, better than erotica even.
FilthyGrandeur said
i think you’re making a lot of assumptions about women and men without a whole lot of substance to back it up. There are plenty of women who enjoy porn over erotica. i am one of them. i think you’re confusing what you like with what women in general like, and we’re all different, with different intersections of identity that come into play with sexual expressions as well. this interpretation seems far too basic and flat for the complexity of human sexuality. liking porn is no more a guy thing than erotica is a woman thing–our gender identities don’t reflect what we use to get aroused.
Pepper H said
I love porn in the same way that I love mainstream films. Not all of it appeals to me, but on the whole I would say that yes, I like porn.
secretlynaughty said
I would like to point out that these were my personal opinions, I have not stated that all men like only porn or all women like only erotica. However the view that I gave was based on the many conversations I have had with a variety of men and women over several years. Perhaps my opinions are biased by the types of men/women I talk to who I consider to be a fairly wide selection.
I personally am glad that we are all different have have different preferences. My main point here was not that women and men should be pidgeon holed into liking one or the other. But many men (mostly outside the world of blogging) confuse porn with erotica. The ones I know think that if a woman likes to read erotica then it must follow that she would like porn after all it is all sex isn’t it.