Secretlynaughty’s Weblog

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The thing about married men

Posted by secretlynaughty on June 12, 2010

I have been thinking about the different lovers or if you prefer friends with benefits that I have and have had over the last few years. Every now and then I go all righteous and declare that it will only be single men for me from then on. But it never takes very long before a married man worms his way into my arms. So what is it about married men?

There are lots of reasons for staying away from them and I don’t just mean that they belong to someone else. Part of me thinks it dreadful that any woman especially this woman would sleep with a married man. After all he is married to someone else, someone who would in all probability be very hurt if they knew what their husband was doing. I wouldn’t want my partner/husband to be having sex with anyone but me so why should I be doing it to them. (that’s the angel on my left shoulder’s view).

On the other hand if a man is married and wants to stay married because they love/adore their wife but they still want to have sex with me that gives me a sense of power. What is more if that man has never strayed before but now that they have met me they want me even though they are risking their marriage………..that is one very powerful aphrodisiac would you not agree.

But there are other reasons for staying away from married men. When you are together you cannot wear perfume or any other scent. …….I do like my perfume especially my bottle of prada…..I love the scent of vanilla too but even that can be too much of a giveaway.

I love to send and receive text messages but with some married men I can only indulge in this when I know it is safe (like Nigel) although with others like Karl I can and do text him at any time. What is nicer when you are apart than an unexpected phone call from your lover. A good morning call or a goodnight wish, maybe if you are both so inclined some phone sex. I have enjoyed a few sessions over time  including just calling up my lover so that he can hear me cum. Karl can phone me which he does often while he is out and about but I can’t ever phone him unless I know in advance that he is out. I have never phoned Dave and only ever text him in reply to his text which is usually only when we are about to meet up.

I think I would be better off finding myself a suitable single man if I am going to find the relationship that works for me………the only trouble is my resistence to married men is low.

With married men we can only spend time together when it fits in with their family life. Time that is stolen, time when they are supposed to be somewhere else. The best we can do is a few hours here and there. We cannot have nights or weekends together. Going away together is not an easy option. (Karl says he wants to take me away but I can’t see it happening.)

Having married lovers means that I can keep a clear conscience whilst seeing more than one, which in turn means that I can find different lovers who have different qualities. It is so difficult to find a lover who can give a woman all that she desires/needs.  In the early days of my sexual adventures (post divorce) I had the gentle Colin and the passionate Nigel. Now I have Karl and Dave who could not be more different. Having multiple married lovers helps me not to fall too deeply for any of them. For our relationship (even if it is no strings) to work we have to like each other and that means having some feelings for each other, caring. But it would be dangerous to care too much. Having more than one means I spread my feelings between them instead of devoting all my emotions to just one.

With single men I am more likely to devote myself to just the one which is when I get hurt like I did with Fred first time around. (who incidentally I have not seen since January and only had one online conversation (end of april) so I think that has run its course.

Is there anyone you would like to read more about?

Adam ~ attached ~ history

Sebastian ~ attached ~ history but still around

Don ~ single ~ history

Colin ~ married ~ history

Nigel ~ married ~ history

Fred ~ single ~ history and semi current

Karl ~ married ~ current

Dave ~ married ~ current

Stuart ~married ~ history

Rupert ~ married ~ history

Chief ~ single ~ history

Cutter ~ married ~ history

Sweetheart ~ single ~ history

4 Responses to “The thing about married men”

  1. Mike said

    Your theory on spreading the emotional investment between multiple married lovers is interesting. I’ve been in the same situation a couple of times with married women, but in my experience, there is still a big risk…..if you really click strongly with someone (a married someone, expecially) on an emotional level, it’s usually trouble. I’ve found that any others I might be involved with faded more into the background, instead of serving as a means to prevent over-investment with the one person. Perhaps that was just my experience though.

    P.S. Thanks again for the plug in your previous post!!

    • secretlynaughty said

      Hi Mike

      I have also experienced the others fading into the back but that has tended to be when I see a single man as with Fred. with Married men I know there is no future so I am able to keep my emotions more in check.

      you are welcome


  2. kevin said

    I long ago decided that what was best for me (as a married man) was to stick to married women. That way, we all know eher we stand.

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