Secretlynaughty’s Weblog

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along came Jim

Posted by secretlynaughty on September 7, 2010

I see his photo most days on face book, I get the occasional email usually something he is sending to all his ‘friends’ a good cause email either to do with cancer or kids or ‘our heroes’. I don’t like the picture he is using now, I much prefer the one he has used the most. Maybe because that was the second picture I saw of him, (the first of his face). It was the picture I printed off and carried around for a while. Yeah I know cheesy right. (I don’t do that now).

After my marriage collapsed I had an on off affair with Don, after 6 months we booked a holiday together, the next day he dumped me for his other on off girlfriend aka TB (the bitch). I took my kids on holiday without him, that was a very subdued holiday. But before the holiday I had joined AFF, on the day I returned from the holiday I had a message from a new man not too far away slightly younger than me but not much, asking for a chance. There was just one problem………..his profile photo was of his erection. I had been drinking wine earlier and feeling bolshy told him that if he wanted a chance he had better change his photo.  I would not be able to recognise him if we ever met unless he was going to drop his pants in public. He soon sent me the photo that even now is indelibly imprinted in my mind.

We chatted on and off for a couple f days arranging to meet at the end of the week (the day after his birthday). All week  I felt such an incredible connection that I worried meeting him would be a disappointment. It wasn’t, we clicked right away, I didn’t even mind that he smoked. We seemed to get on well, I called him my toyboy even though there’s less than 2 years between us. He told me I had lied on my profile calling myself ‘ample’ when in his opinion I clearly wasn’t, (apart from the obvious).

We went for a drive, found a secluded car park. I climbed onto his lap on the back seat, it became a standing joke that I had soaked his trousers. Over the next few weeks we became close, when we were not together, there were text and IM everyday. Then came the day that he insisted we were going to meet at our usual meeting place. We had not made any earlier arrangement so this was a suprise to me. But a bigger suprise was still to come. Sipping our hot drinks as we chatted and kissed he told me that he had to tell me something I wouldn’t like. I wasn’t prepared for what he told me next.

Six months earlier he had applied for a job that would not only be a promotion but also take him closer to his children. I was pleased for him of course but this move was going to take him to Europe and happen in just 4 days time. He would be back from time to time and we would keep in contact. True to his word a month later we spent a night together in a hotel that we had stayed in before. This was the night he introduced me to my first sex toys. My first experience of having a vibrator used on me.

I had never known that a vibrator induced orgasm could be so incredible. That night was one of the best sexual experiences I had had to that date. The sight of Jim standing naked at the window smoking, watching a deer in the car park in the middle of the night will remain with me for a very long time. In the morning Jim gave me the vibrator he had used on me the night before. It was my first lady lust finger (maybe that is why I am so fond of them). He also gave me my orange dildo.

That morning as we kissed goodbye in the car park I had no idea that I would never see him again. A brief exchange of text messages that evening gave no clue that he was about to vanish from my life. He did not reply to any of my text messages or emails, nothing. I was very worried, although a civillian I knew that his work someties took him to places like Iraq and Afghanistan. I was convinced that something awful had happened. The silence was painful. A year passed and still nothing. I am sure you can imagine the shock I felt when out of the blue I received an email from Jim. It was nothing personal, just a chain email. I replied.

‘So you are still alive then’

A series of emails ensued from which I learnt that he had purposefully given me that last night together knowing that he planned to disappear from my life. He thought that I would get over him quicker that way. I don’t know when but he had decided to make his life in Europe with no plans to return to UK.

4 Responses to “along came Jim”

  1. Rosie said

    Will we ever be able to really understand the workings of a man’s mind? This is another good example. They manage to wiggle into our hearts and bodies and then — POOF, they are gone. No explaination, nothing. Usually when they do turn up months or so later I am still so angry that I simply delete. But obviously this guy is very special to you. I hope you don’t get hurt further.

    • secretlynaughty said

      Rosie

      I find it unbelievable the number of men who just vanish off the face of the earth only to return approx a year later. Why its been a year I have no idea. Jim wasn’t the first or last. It has been a few years since now since Jim reappeared. Although he is among my facebook friends we nolong communicate directly. He has a life in anouther country, I know that I will never see him again. We are different people now, the connection we had shared is long gone.

      sn

  2. nitebyrd said

    That’s such a bittersweet story, SN. Basically, men are cowards, I think. They would rather do something like that than to just tell the truth and face the consequences.

    • secretlynaughty said

      nitebyrd

      It is something that has happened to me too many times now. The last guy who tried it did confess that he was doing that when I shamed him with a 2am email that I didn’t expect an answer too…….but thats another story.

      sn x

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