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Beyond vanilla

Posted by secretlynaughty on December 19, 2010

The subject has arisen again.

BDSM, am I into it and if so in which role?

Am I Vanilla or not?

I suspect that anyone who is vanilla would if they knew what I have done in recent years,  say that I am not vanilla (that is if they even knew what being vanilla meant).

I suspect that anyone heavily into BDSM would say that I am little more than vanilla.

I was vanilla until a few years ago when I joined the world of sex bloggers. From the moment I began reading other sex blogs and discussing various aspects of sex with other sex bloggers my interest in sex beyond vanilla began to grow. Some of my favourite blogs from those early days have since ceased to be. Two of my favourite bloggers of that time were the very educational and sexy Cherrie and the delightfully adventurous La Fille. They are both missed (at least by me).

During this time I discovered in myself a need to try out a variety of things I had previously felt were no go areas for me.

There was the time a good friend (he was the one who introduced me to sex blogs in the first place) agreed to give me my first experience of being spanked/caned. I was astounded by my ability to cope with pain as have always believed myself to be a total wimp where pain is concerned. Since then sadly I have not experienced any further caning however I have been spanked (not seriously but in fun). Dave is quite happy to spank me and has also been the only man who has actually tied me up to a degree although others have said they would. Probably the most serious spanking I have had apart from that very first time was at the swingers party Dave took me to where my favourite room was the dungeon.

Who would have ever thought someone as shy and selfconscience as I would ever put on a show for doggers.

I have had many conversations with a variety of men about being in a Dom/sub relationship. This is something I am curious about and reading about it turns me on big time. But although quite a few men have shown an interest in the concept I have not found any who would do this with me properly. Some are merely interested in making a woman do whatever they want without caring about doing ao with care and love. I have discussed it with Dave as he seems to be the only one in my life who is capable of giving me the kind of sex I crave, but he says he could never be dominant.

I have had numerous conversations (mainly in the past) about whether I am submissive. I believe that I do have a tendency to allow my partner to lead me in sex. But there are times when I feel a need to be the one in control. There fore I believe that I am for the most part submissive but could never be totally controlled.

Ages ago I came across a BDSM quiz which I took and posted the results here. I think it would be interestin now to take the test again if it still exists just to see if the results come out the same as before.

BDSM Quiz

my result first time:

You Scored as Switch
(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch
96%
Experimental
89%
Submissive
86%
Bondage
82%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
75%
Masochist
71%
Dominant
61%
Sadist
54%
Degradation Lover
54%
Vanilla
21%

my result this time is :

You Scored as Switch

(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch
100%
Experimental
93%
Bondage
93%
Submissive
86%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
86%
Sadist
86%
Masochist
82%
Dominant
71%
Degradation Lover
46%
Vanilla
18%

Posted in adult fantasy, BDSM, being caned, bisexual, blogging, celebration of womanhood, cocks, dogging, Dom/sub, fetish, group sex, light bondage, mind fuck, pleasure pain, randomness, Sex bloggers, sex mad, skin on skin, spanking, Uncategorized, voyeurism | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Zoo

Posted by secretlynaughty on December 11, 2010

Louisa was just parking as I pulled into the car park, good timing by both of us. Crossing the road we walked into the pub together. Standing at the bar to order our drinks I glanced into the corner where the band and all their entourage would be, taking note of who was there.

We were both tired after a hectic week at work and didn’t fancy spending all evening on our feet, we found an unoccupied table on the far side of the entrance. It meant we wouldn’t be able to see the band paying but we would have no trouble hearing them. You would think that working together 9 hours a day 5 days a week we would run out of things to talk about but not so. I was sat with my back to the window, facing into the room.

I was amused to see that the drummer’s girlfriend RC walk over to our end of the room looking around before turning on her heel and retracing her steps. I wonder who she was looking for? A few minutes later the sound man’s wife walked past going to the ladies. Now I really did think that, that was funny. Our table was on a raised area set back from the main part of the room which was taken up by a couple of pool tables. When I had glanced at the band on our arrival I had noticed that TW was heading into the ladies room right next to where they were all sitting. So not only did I think she didn’t really need to go again so soon (10 or 15 mins at the most) but why go to the ladies room at the far end of the pub when there is one just a dozen steps from where you are sitting.

Throughout the evening both RC and TW were taking it in turns to walk through to the ladies. With each walk TW was taking more time to look in our direction. Obviously there was nothing wrong with the ladies on their side of the pub as none of the other ladies in their group were walking past us.

I am guessing that the two of them were too concerned with where I was to be able to enjoy the evening. Whereas Louisa and I had a lovely evening (my friend Janice was meant to meet us but didn’t make it). The one blight on my evening being a phone call from my ex but that aside I had a nice time minding my own business with a lovely friend listening to live rock music and chatting.

However by the time we left I did feel as though I was an exhibit in a zoo.

I did not see or speak to sound man (Karl) at all during the evening and have heard nothing from him since.

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awol

Posted by secretlynaughty on November 13, 2010

It has been weeks now

It started with face book

It started with poking

He poked me frequently and I returned the favour

It dawned on me that we were not friends

But I liked the look of him anyway

A few messages were exchanged

Checking the minimal info on his profile revealed his email address

A tentative email to my poking buddy

Followed by an exchange of emails amounting to dozens

Every day

My face he had not seen

My legs he adored

He enjoyed the mystery

As day by day we learnt

More about each other

The poking continued day in day out

Slowly this man was getting under my skin

I tell myself that this is not real

It isn’t like we are even in the same part of the country

Yet I know that the miles between us need not be a barrier

He liked my smile when eventually a photo he saw

Now I have not heard from him for 48 hrs

I miss his words, his cheek and his smile

As each hour passes without his name in my inbox

A sadness descends over me

How could someone I have never met crept into my heart

He has gone AWOL and I don’t know if this is good or bad

Posted in randomness, single men, virtual affair, wishing | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

She did it

Posted by secretlynaughty on October 31, 2010

Recently I wrote that my libido was low my mojo was missing my sex drive has snuck away ………..how ever you like to say it my need for sex has been eluding me. Sorry nitebyrd if you thought the next post about my night with Nigel was my libodo returning (that post was about a night a few yrs ago after my first ever spanking/caning). It was what Riff would call a ‘filler post’.

A few minutes ago I decided to catch up on Yummy’s blog. Scrolling through a number of posts I had missed my eye caught on this line.

1 woman pushed a toy inside me while she was taken by the therapist

Just that one line did it for me, suddenly I was aroused and reaching inside my clothes, giving myself the first orgasm I had had in days and this one had not been premeditated. Thank you Yummy for helping me to find my libido again.

 

Posted in adult fantasy, bisexual, blogging, girl on girl, group sex, randomness, Sex bloggers, sex mad, sex toys | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

something a little different

Posted by secretlynaughty on October 30, 2010

I had a friend request from someone on facebook who has Riff Dog as a mutual friend. Of course anyone who has Riff as a friend has to be considered worth adding as a friend. (Obviously as I am also a friend of Riff’s that must mean that I am also worth being friends with for all his other friends yes?).  Anyway this new friend Atlantic and I have been exchanging a fair number of messages. During the course of these messages the subject of my voice came up. Well thats natural right? after all my voice is a valuable asset to me. I think perhaps I should be taking out an insurance policy just on my voice.

My voice is what you could call a hidden asset. Ok so I also have other hidden assets which you have been lucky enough to glimpse through this blog. But my voice is something you have never been able to see. Personally I do not like the sound of my voice…………yes I know I can talk for ever when I have a mind to……I think I may be addicted to talking. But when ever I hear recordings of my voice I hear a thin tinny whine which is soooooo cringe worthy. But through my work I spend a lot of time on the phone. I am told that talking to me is like being caressed. yeah right! I am told I have a sexy voice…….what could be sexy about it? I am told I have a very cheeky voice. All this has led to me thinking that I would love to be one of the voices used on SAT NAV. But that is just a dream that I will probably never do anything about.

However about 6 months or so ago I was thinking about trying to record myself reading some of my stories that my readers could then access through my blog. I then discovered that my friend Ms cake had already set up a library of her own stories that you could buy. I didn’t want to copy what she was doing as we are not clones. I did however as an experiment record 2 or 3 readings which I then emailed to my friend Blogger (being on another continent we couldn’t just pick up a phone). I found it difficult to read in a manner that would bring out the sexyness of the story and reflect my natural way of speaking. I didn’t continue with the project and had almost forgotten about it until Atlantic said that he would love to hear my voice. I located one of these recordings and emailed it to him.  Next day I found this reply

That was great. I loved your voice. So sexy. I could listen to you all night!

He has since mentioned that he would love to hear more of my sexy voice. so I thought I would let you lovely readers have the opportunity to hear the piece I sent to him (bearing in mind this was six months ago and I have not listened to it myself since then) …..yes I know I could have a listen now but as I said I don’t like the sound of my voice. If you listen to this and like it I might be persuaded to make more recordings………….I wonder if I could do them without having to hear them myself ……….yeah I know stupid idea.

each night 2

I hope this is worth it as I have just had to pay to upgrade my blog in order to upload this file……….good thing I have just been paid 🙂

 

I am now adding my second recording which Atlantic has now heard and liked. I had a suprise visit from Karl after lunch today and I played this to him (it is purely coincidence that I am waiting for him to install a new shower for me). I wanted to know if my voice on the recording is anything like my actual voice. He says that it is.

shower 2

I hope you enjoy this.

Posted in creative writing, randomness, Sex bloggers | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

livin libido low

Posted by secretlynaughty on October 25, 2010

It has been a lovely sunny peaceful sunday morning. I was relaxing enjoying the delicious hot water and soft white bubbles of my bath when it happened. Time was my own, there was no rush like there is on a weekday morning. Lifting my right leg out of the water to rest my foot on the side of the bath and slid my hand down between my thighs.

Using my finger I pressed, rubbed and flicked but nothing happened, I was willing myself to climax. Nothing I did helped, there was no sign of arousal. I was thinking about this and the way I have been feeling lately. I have been feeling a lack of arousal. My recent lack of sex has not bothered me, if anything it has been more of a relief.

In the next couple of days I will be alone at home for a whole night whilst my remaining children are away from home. This would be an ideal time to invite either Karl or Dave to spend time alone with me in my home. It would be an ideal time to christen my bed. No man has been in my bed since I bought it 2.5 years ago. Yet I have not mentioned to either of them that this opportunity has arisen. Neither have I told Fred who I know would love to see me again. (He has been leaving me offline messages recently making it clear that if I had not been away last week he wanted to see me).

I have concluded that my libido is currently rock bottom. I don’t know how I can change that.

Posted in Instant Messaging, married men, randomness, sex mad, single men, skin on skin | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Confession time (the vicar’s fault)

Posted by secretlynaughty on September 26, 2010

Confession time had arrived, the moment Penny had been dreading was here. There was no pretending it hadn’t happened, the evidence was there in plain sight. Penny could feel her face heating up with embarrassment, she wanted to hide behind her coat but she knew this was going to be something she would have to face. She would have to live with the consequences of her error, it was her weakness that had led to this.

Taking her time to look around the room, biting her lip, staring unseeingly at the posters on the walls of this small room. The wooden chair uncomfortable, but more so than usual today. The light but fir touch on her arm brough Penny back to the here and now.

How is the dancercise class was going ? You are still going every week I take it

yes

and your increased medication how is that going?

Thats ok I increased them just the way you told me to. I’m now on 2 tablets twice a day no problem. I found that setting an alarm to go off in the evenings helps remind me to take the second dose.

Right but you don’t seem to be losing any weight, is there a problem sticking to the diet.

Errmm yes it’s ummm not easy especially since………..

…….since what Penny?

Since the vicar…..

The vicar?

Yes its all the vicar’s fault

What on earth did the vicar do?

He reminded me how wonderful they are
It isn’t often that a vicar makes me salivate

I can see you are finding this hard but unless you tell me I can’t help you.

I was out shopping for salad and yoghurts to take to work for lunch when I found myself in search of them……….I couldn’t help it…….I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for him. Then once I had given in the first time it happened again and again every time I went. Then I would dash home to pop them in the oven for a few minutes before splitting them open adding a knob of sunflower spread.

What?

There is nothing more heavenly than a warm cheese scone with melting butter dripping down your chin.

Laughing the diabetic nurse assured Penny that is all it was she could find a recipe for low fat scones and she could make her own but not to have too many.

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getting hot and bothered with facebook

Posted by secretlynaughty on September 12, 2010

It has been a week now since I started my new facebook account in the name of Anna Jay. I have lots of nice new friends and it hasn’t done this blog any harm either as I noticed that my stats have increased and yesterday was a record day.

But what I really like is the new friends I have some of them I would never have found without this fb account. I have found Easily Aroused who I had mistakenly thought had given up writing on his blog a few years ago. Even though it has been a few years since last reading his blog some of his fantasies are indelibly etched on my mind. His writing has never failed to make me very hot and wet.

There are others who I had never heard of before but I shall enjoy getting to know them. I love the sexy profile pictures but I also like some of the links that are being posted. I have found myself particularly drawn to the pictures from double the pleasure. I may be more straight than Bi although I am a little curious these pictures of nubile young women kissing and fondling have got me more than a little wet. I have had to remove my knickers and sit on a folded towel while I write this post. I have checked out all 3 pages of pictures that can be sent as gifts to friends……..who wants one? But for me I think my favourite is Heidi and Sandi but they are all very hot and I am now highly aroused. I would love to be in a clinch with any of the girls featured. If you want to see what I am talking about have a gander at this. Male or female you won’t be able to resist, I know I couldn’t resist squeezing my left nipple while my right hand worked on my already wet and engorged clit just thinking about them.

I have also found a game I didn’t know about which has currently got me hooked………..would it suprise you to know I have been playing The Sex Game. I am of course neither a monogamist or a player but a nympho (what else?). I could do with some friends to help me though.

Posted in adult fantasy, bisexual, blogging, celebration of womanhood, creative writing, girl on girl, randomness, Sex bloggers | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

give away competition

Posted by secretlynaughty on September 12, 2010

I have been approached by a Company called Luxotiq who create high end adult toys. You can see for yourselves here. They use only quality materials like surgical grade stainless steel, glass and semi precious stone. I personally favour the rose quartz.

Luxotiq is giving away 10 Isis dildos. 5 winners will be selected at random to receive an Isis. An Isis will also be sent to your friend.

Details can be found  here.

Posted in blogging, randomness, sex toys, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | Leave a Comment »

facebook

Posted by secretlynaughty on September 5, 2010

I have been on facebook for a few years now although selective of who I add as friends 95% are real life friends/family some are friends through blogging. Recently there have been more and more bloggers I know through this blog. So rather than keep adding too many bloggers who will then have access to my personal life I have now created a new profile as Secretly naughty, unfortunately the automated system didn’t like the name Secretly naughty so I am using one of my pseudonyms Anna Jay. Those of you who are already friends on my personal facebook will get invites to this one also.

If anyone else would like to be a friend please let me know

I am currently using this as my profile picture

Posted in blogging, randomness, Sex bloggers | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »