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Posts Tagged ‘BDSM’

Beyond vanilla

Posted by secretlynaughty on December 19, 2010

The subject has arisen again.

BDSM, am I into it and if so in which role?

Am I Vanilla or not?

I suspect that anyone who is vanilla would if they knew what I have done in recent years,  say that I am not vanilla (that is if they even knew what being vanilla meant).

I suspect that anyone heavily into BDSM would say that I am little more than vanilla.

I was vanilla until a few years ago when I joined the world of sex bloggers. From the moment I began reading other sex blogs and discussing various aspects of sex with other sex bloggers my interest in sex beyond vanilla began to grow. Some of my favourite blogs from those early days have since ceased to be. Two of my favourite bloggers of that time were the very educational and sexy Cherrie and the delightfully adventurous La Fille. They are both missed (at least by me).

During this time I discovered in myself a need to try out a variety of things I had previously felt were no go areas for me.

There was the time a good friend (he was the one who introduced me to sex blogs in the first place) agreed to give me my first experience of being spanked/caned. I was astounded by my ability to cope with pain as have always believed myself to be a total wimp where pain is concerned. Since then sadly I have not experienced any further caning however I have been spanked (not seriously but in fun). Dave is quite happy to spank me and has also been the only man who has actually tied me up to a degree although others have said they would. Probably the most serious spanking I have had apart from that very first time was at the swingers party Dave took me to where my favourite room was the dungeon.

Who would have ever thought someone as shy and selfconscience as I would ever put on a show for doggers.

I have had many conversations with a variety of men about being in a Dom/sub relationship. This is something I am curious about and reading about it turns me on big time. But although quite a few men have shown an interest in the concept I have not found any who would do this with me properly. Some are merely interested in making a woman do whatever they want without caring about doing ao with care and love. I have discussed it with Dave as he seems to be the only one in my life who is capable of giving me the kind of sex I crave, but he says he could never be dominant.

I have had numerous conversations (mainly in the past) about whether I am submissive. I believe that I do have a tendency to allow my partner to lead me in sex. But there are times when I feel a need to be the one in control. There fore I believe that I am for the most part submissive but could never be totally controlled.

Ages ago I came across a BDSM quiz which I took and posted the results here. I think it would be interestin now to take the test again if it still exists just to see if the results come out the same as before.

BDSM Quiz

my result first time:

You Scored as Switch
(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch
96%
Experimental
89%
Submissive
86%
Bondage
82%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
75%
Masochist
71%
Dominant
61%
Sadist
54%
Degradation Lover
54%
Vanilla
21%

my result this time is :

You Scored as Switch

(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch
100%
Experimental
93%
Bondage
93%
Submissive
86%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
86%
Sadist
86%
Masochist
82%
Dominant
71%
Degradation Lover
46%
Vanilla
18%

Posted in adult fantasy, BDSM, being caned, bisexual, blogging, celebration of womanhood, cocks, dogging, Dom/sub, fetish, group sex, light bondage, mind fuck, pleasure pain, randomness, Sex bloggers, sex mad, skin on skin, spanking, Uncategorized, voyeurism | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Limits completed

Posted by secretlynaughty on August 10, 2010

Here are my comments on the list I posted here a couple of weeks ago. I started with A – B continued with C – D and   E – F and  G – H and  I, J, k, L, M & N then  O – R now I am completing the excercise with S – Z.some of these I have commented on already.

Saran wrap …………. see previous
Scarification  ………this goes against my instincts to shy away from permanent disfigurement of the body
Scratching – getting ………….I am sure I would be excited by this
Scratching – giving  ………..not as easy as it sounds …………I know ………I have tried
Sensory deprivation  …………..I can’t wait to try this ………with someone I trust implicitly
Serving …………..perhaps to a small degree as part of role play
Serving as art  ………..you are joking right? me ……..art ha ha
Serving as ashtray .……..don’t be stupid ……….apart from anything else I am a non smoker
Serving as furniture …………do you like your furniture to wriggle ……….I’m not good at keeping still
Serving as a maid  .……….can I get you anything?
Serving as a toilet (urine)  …………..eeewwwwww
Serving as a toilet (feces)  .……………crap no!
Serving as waitress/waiter  ……….I’m a mother ……..what do you think I have been doing all these years
Serving orally (sexual)  ………….mmmmmmmmmmm
Serving other Doms (supervised)  .………….I can’t answer this
Serving other Doms (unsupervised) .………see above
Sexual deprivation (short term) ………….don’t you think I have suffered enough?
Sexual deprivation (long term)
…………see above
Shaving (body hair)  …………I have been doing this for years
Shaving (head hair)  ……… what lose my lovely hair ………….no thank you
Skinny dipping  ..………..hasn’t everyone at one time or another?
Sleep deprivation   …………………makes me tired and irritable
Sleep sacks ………..see previous
Slutty clothing (private) …….yes it has been known
Slutty clothing (public) …………occasionally but only in selected places with selected company
Spandex clothing  ……….. you can keep it
Spanking  …………yes
Speech restrictions (when/what)………….as if that could be possible for this chatter box
Speculums (anal) ……….what will they think of next?
Speculums (vaginal) ……….. you get used to them very quickly with regular use
Spitting  .……….didn’t your mum tell you that its rude to spit?
Spreader bars  …………..I wonder!
Standing in corner  .……..I can do that ……didn’t you see  the pictures?
Stocks
………..I bet thats something else I’m too short for
Straight jackets  ………..some people make me feel like I am wearing an imaginary one…………I think a real one would be very difficult for me
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)  .……….the idea of strap ons does nothing for me
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)   .………see above
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)  .……….see above
Strapping (full body beating)  …………ummm probably not but you never know
Suspension (upright)  ……..this body is too weak and out of condition
Suspension (inverted)  .………never likely to have the strength of mind or body for this
Supplying new partners for Dom  ……….you mean I would have to share
Swallowing feces  .………not on your nelly
Swallowing semen  .………of course
Swallowing urine   …………….no not for me thank you
Swapping (with one other couple)  .……… always game for a bit of swapsies
Swinging (multiple couples) ………cum on you know me ……….the more the merrier
Tampon training (in ass) ………..gawd no …………..I would prefer a but plug
Tattooing
………….no this is one of my pet hates
Teasing  ………..didn’t you know that teasing is my middle name
TENS unit (electrical toy)  …………didn’t use one during labour so why would I want to now?
Thumb cuffs (metal) …………..see previous
Tickling     ……………have always love to tickle/be tickled but now learnt to control it
Triple Penetration  .……… next on my list of to do things
Urethral Sounds (metal rods) ………see previous
Uniforms    .………….I’m sure that will do nicely thanks
Including others  .………like I said…….the more the merrier
Vaginal dildo  …………so long as it isn’t too thick.

Verbal humiliation   .
……….maybe in small doses, might not have desired effect, 19 years of this from my ex
Vibrator on genitals   …………oh yes!!
Violet wand (electrical toy)  ……………can I give you my answer after I try one
Voyeurism (watching others)  …………mild interest but really only to get ideas
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
………..this might not be as easy
Video (watching others)   ………..depends how real it is
Video (recordings of you)  .……………….just be careful who gets a copy
Water torture    …………don’t you think there is enough torture ans some would say enough water in the world
Waxing (hair removal)  .……not something I intend volunteering for
Wearing symbolic jewelry   ……….. expect so
Weight gain (forced)   .………..no force required …………..just looking adds weight
Weight loss (forced)    .………if only this would work
Whipping  .……… can I ?
Wooden paddles   ……….how do they compare to leather ones?
Wrestling     …………do I get to practice my special moves?

So now you know

Posted in BDSM, double standards, fetish, group sex, married men, randomness, Sex bloggers, Uncategorized | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

My limitations O-R

Posted by secretlynaughty on July 7, 2010

Here are my comments on the list I posted here a couple of weeks ago. I started with A – B continued with C – D and   E – F and  G – H and  I, J, k, L, M & N just a few more this time  O – R .some of these I have commented on already.

Oral/anal play (rimming)  ……………….I guess I might tolerate receiving but giving are you serious……do you know where that butt has been?
Over the knee spanking ………perhaps I should be a bad girl just so you will put me over your knee …….do you have strong knees?
Orgasm denial  ……..this is an interesting one……….It would take a lot of training as I currently have no control ……if I am going to orgasm the hoover dam wouldn’t be able to hold me back
Orgasm control  …………..see above …………..but I do like to have control over your orgasm hee hee
Outdoor scenes   ………… I have been known to indulge with varying degrees of success
Pain (severe) .………..do you have any idea how low my pain threshold is? on a scale of 1 to 10 my pain threshold is -5
Pain (mild)     …………..If its in a good cause ie my pleasure ……….bring it on 😉
Persona training (in scene)  ……………will give it a go (with the right person)
Personal modification (rl)  .………….if it leads to personal improvement I am all for it ……..just don’t hurt me too much …….(did I tell you I’m a whimp)
Phone sex (serving Dom)   ………….If thats what it takes
Phone sex (serving Dom’s friends)    ……….. If I had a Dom who required it then of course
Phone sex (commercial provider)    .………….It has been suggested by some at work that I would earn a fortune at it
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce)    ……………..No, Karl asked me  just days ago if I wanted nipple or clit piercings ……..I don’t need the added stimulation of  metal embedded in my flesh to increase my arousal
Piercing (permanent)  ……………see above………. I am not against them for others but not for me I’m  afraid
Plastic surgery  …………..if it was for health reasons yes but not for pleasure only
Prison scenes  …………not sure why anyone would want to do this but if it floats your boat
Prostitution (public pretense)   …………small possibility
Prostitution (actual)    …………..no I don’t think so………I do what I do because I  want to, not because I have been paid to
Pony slave  ………….please explain
Public exposure  …………..have done this to a degree and found it thrilling ……..not sure how far I would dare to go though
Punishment scene     have tried to do this …………..would love to try it again
Pussy/cock whipping  ………..willing to try this ……..just remember the pain thresh hold
Pussy worship   …………you may certainly worship my pussy………..I promise I won’t complain
Riding crops  ………..didn’t know you could ride a crop…….oh thats mot it is it………um be gentle please ……..oh ok just don’t make me count and afterwards can I try it on you?
Riding the “horse” (crotch tort) …………..please explain
Rituals    …………. I have my own but I don’t think you mean those
Religious scenes  ………… a man of the cloth does feature in a few of my joint fantasies with Sebastian
Restrictive rules on behavior   ………..hmm would struggle between being  a good girl and a brat
Rubber/latex clothing   …………cool something to get me all hot
Rope body harness  …….if you have enough rope go for it …………..if I don’t like it I won’t do it again

Posted in adult fantasy, anal pleasure, BDSM, being caned, blogging, cocks, couples, Dom/sub, fetish, light bondage, married men, mind fuck, open air sex, pleasure pain, review, Sex bloggers, sex mad, skin on skin, wishing | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Limitations I,J,K,L,M & N

Posted by secretlynaughty on June 13, 2010

Here are my comments on the list I posted here a couple of weeks ago. I started with A – B continued with C – D and   E – F and  G – H and now I, J, k, L, M & N some of these I have commented on already.

Ice cubes ………..yummy I like this kind of play especially when used on a hot body (preferably mine)
Immobilisation ……………this could be a little limiting…….but I can see the attraction both of imobilising and being immobilised
Infantilism…………..no  not of any interest to me ……….I am after all a mother several times over
Initiation rites ………..this sounds creepy so I guess I would want to know ore before comiting myself
Injections…………….no, no, no , no no…….I am a diabetic with a fear of needles!!
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage……..having never experienced rope play of any kind I cannot say yes or no
Interrogations …………..I think I would break down fairly easily
Kidnapping ………..depends who by and where to
Kneeling …………..careful of my dodgy knee
Knife play.………..no  don’t do blades ……….someone (hopefully not me) could get hurt!
Leather Clothing………….The only problem I see here is finding the right size as there isn’t much give in leather
Leather restraints………I have seen some retty pink soft leather ones I would love to own
Lectures for misbehavior……..ooops have I been naughty ?
Licking (non-sexual) ………..ewww makes me think of being licked in the face by a slobbery dog no thanks
Lingerie (wearing)…………where have you been if you don’t know that I adore wearing sexy lingerie
Manacles and Irons……………..not so sure , maybe if it is only for a short time as an experiment
Manicures (giving) .……….are you joking? ………….I wouldn’t have a clue where to start
Massage (giving).………..happy to give it a go but somewhat clueless could do more harm than good
Massage (receiving)………..oh yes please, love it
Medical scenes ………….this sounds a bit creept unless you mean like drs and nurses but somehow I think this could be a bit more serious
Modeling for erotic photos……………when and where?
Mouth bits …………………what?
Mummification …………………really?
Name change (for scene)………..would this be like me using another name for swinging purposes?

Needle Play ………I already said I don’t do needles did you hear that ……..no needles ever!!
Nipple clamps ………coming around to this one………..have experimented with clothes pegs a few times but only on my own
Nipple rings (piercing)…………..I’m too much of a slightweight to get that done
Nipple weights …………that could be stretching my tolerance a bit too far!

Posted in BDSM, bisexual, blogging, Dom/sub, fetish, light bondage, lingerie, pleasure pain, randomness, review, Sex bloggers | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

Limitations G – H

Posted by secretlynaughty on May 27, 2010

Here are my comments on the list I posted here a couple of weeks ago. I started with A – B continued with C – D and   E – F and now G – H some of these I have commented on already.

Gags (cloth) …………….it had better be clean if its going into my mouth !!
Gags (inflatable) ………….does that mean it can be inflated to the optimum size for the mouth it is going into.
Gags (phallic) …………… oh goody shaped gags ………….do they cause the gagging reflex?
Gags (rubber) ………… I thought we were supposed to use a rubber elsewhere
Gags (tape) ………….can it be in pretty colours ?(I’ve seen it in pink but would like red).
Gas masks ………….We sometimes need one in our bathroom …………hmm  having used one during basic training for my brief stint in the Territorial Army I’ not sure I would want to indulge during sexual play
Gates of Hell (male) …………..please explain ………..is he strung up on a wrought iron gate ?
Genital sex ………….am I being dense here?………..doesn’t sex usually involve genitals
Given away to another Dom (temp) …………provided that my Dom (if I had one) was satisfied that I would be safe with  the other Dom
Given away to another Dom (perm)…………..if it was in my best interests
Golden Showers …………..no no no to golden showers or any other colour
Gun play ……………I’ve heard it called a few things and I know they like to shoot their load from their pencil but a gun !
Hair brush spankings ………..why would you spank a hair brush? ………..ooops you mean being spanked with one  hmm not tried it yet but you never know ……….I assume it would be bristle side up
Hair pulling …………oh yes I love this ………..not that I have ever said so
Hand Jobs (giving) ……………yes I do and I’m not bad at it but do prefer to use my mouth more than my hand
Hand Jobs (receiving) ……………..he can use his hands on me anytime
Harems (serving w/other subs) …………not sure I could do this as I am not very domestic but maybe
Harnessing (leather) …………I would probably try it in the right circumstances with the right person/persons
Harnessing (rope) ……….as above I might be convinced to try it
Having food chosen for you …………provided that the person doing the choosing knew what I would/wouldn’t eat
Having clothing chosen for you …………..provided that the person doing the choosing had a sense of style
(head (give fellatio/cunnilingus) …………….have you been reading this blogg for long ……….if so you will know the answer
Head (rcv fellation/cunnilingus) ……………not enough men know how to give expert head but when they do …….mmmmmmmm there is nothing in this world that is better.
High Heel Wearing ………….anyone who knows me knows that I adore wearing high heels
High Heel Worship …………. have you seen my wardrobe? ………….oh thats not what it means ………..perhaps
Homage with tongue (non-sexual)………….probably not
Hoods …………if I had cold ears………..not tight fitting
Hot oils (on genitals) ………………if he has upset me I ight be tempted to do this to him
Hot waxing ……………noooooooooooooo
Housework (doing)……………..why start now?
Human puppy dog …………………what?
Humiliation (private)………………does this include the above? ………..unlikely…….. I am nolonger married!!
Humiliation (public) …………as above
Hypnotism…………..if I trusted the hypnotist

Posted in adult fantasy, BDSM, being caned, Dom/sub, fetish, light bondage, pleasure pain, randomness, Sex bloggers, sex mad, sex toys, spanking, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

BDSM Quiz

Posted by secretlynaughty on November 16, 2008

 

Whilst browsing a new blog I came across a link for a BDSM quiz. As you can see I had a go at the quiz just to see if it agreed with my feeling that I have strong submissive tendencies but am not totally submissive, there are times when I like to be the one in control. I have previously said on here that I am more inclined to be a switch.

 

 
You Scored as Switch
(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch
 
96%
Experimental
 
89%
Submissive
 
86%
Bondage
 
82%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
 
75%
Masochist
 
71%
Dominant
 
61%
Sadist
 
54%
Degradation Lover
 
54%
Vanilla
 
21%

 

 

Posted in adult fantasy, BDSM, Dom/sub, group sex, spanking, Uncategorized, voyeurism | Tagged: , , , | 7 Comments »