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Posts Tagged ‘Don’

Only me

Posted by secretlynaughty on May 29, 2010

Over the last few years I have had to change the way I see myself. One of the reasons and probably the biggest reason I stayed married for as long as I did. I believed that if I split from my husband that would be it, the end of any life for me. I did not love my husband in fact I found he repulsed me, but at least he wanted me. If I cut free then I would be on my own from then on in as no other man would ever be attracted to me. No man in their right mind was ever going to find me the slightest bit sexy.

Then I decided that life was passing me by and I deserve a little happiness…..I could not stay in my marriage any longer so I filed for divorce in the sept. By december I was feeling lonely….I had always given all my affection to my kids as my husband neither wanted or gave any affection. But now my kids are almost grown and its not cool to have hugs with your mum.

I joined a couple of online dating sites met a couple of guys for drinks over the xmas period. Then after xmas began chatting to a guy(Don) 20 miles away. I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship just friendship. When we met a few days later I knew this was going to be more than friendship. I will describe that relationship another time as it warrants more than a few lines. But what I quickly learnt was that I could be sexy and have a satisfying sexual relationship with a man other than my husband. This was the first new man for me for almost 20 years and I was by now twice the woman I had been back before I had my adorable children.

In the months after that I met and had sexual encounters with a few other guys. Then  I joined AFF put on my profile not expecting a single response…..but was inundated . I now of course know that the ratio of men to women meant that was inevitable. But it did no end of good for my confidence which in turn made me a happier brighter sexier person. I have built up a network of really good mates and a few lovers along the way. But most of all I now understand that the problems I have reguarding my body shape are not shared by the men I have encountered. It’s only me who has a problem with my figure.

This has been proved to me over and over agian as I have met more men and now women too who find me sexy. I try not to allow my own hang ups over my body get in my way. When chatting to a new man I nolonger apologise for my size, I don’t even mention it. I now expect that by the time we meet they will be hooked by my personality, boobs and legs. If they get as far as kissing me then I stop worrying about being rejected, I know I am a great kisser and once we kiss they are mine.

I recently had a conversation with Cougar about swinger clubs, he has been to one that I looked up on the net a few years ago but dismissed because one of the club rules is that you walk around naked. Cougar could not understand why this bothers me as I am happy to get naked with sexual partners. There are many men (as I can vouch) who prefer women with love handles. But my argument is that in a place like that there will also be others who find the fuller figure to be obscene. When I am with my sexual partners they have chosen to be with me. At places like this club these people are forced to see more naked flesh than they might wish to see. I know that the flip side of this argument is that they should know that this will be the case and by being there have agreed to witness all the lumps, bumps and wobbles that are on show. Personally I choose not to put myself in a position where my naked body will be judged by others who may not judge favourably. The club I have been to (and hope to again) the norm is to wear sexy lingerie which can be disguarded during play. I am much more comfortable with this.

I know none of us are entirely happy with our own body image.

What are your hang ups

Have you been to a swinger club? what was the dress code

Posted in blogging, celebration of womanhood, double standards, group sex, lingerie, randomness, Sex bloggers, skin on skin | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

From zero to 500% libido in one go

Posted by secretlynaughty on February 12, 2010

Chatting to a friend today about my libido caused me to think about the sudden change in me a few years ago. During and after my treatment for Cervical cancer in my late 30s I was often asked…………

How is your libido?

I don’t have any

My reply was alway the same. I hadn’t been interested in sex for a long time, probably since the birth of my second son. Oh we still had sex about 3 or 4 times a year but I didn’t enjoy it. Sex had become an unwelcome chore, about as enjoyable as cleaning the toilet but still has to be done. When I found out I was pregnant again it was easy to work out that I was already 4 months as it had been that long since we had had sex. It was a pity really because I had enjoyed sex before I became a mother. At one time he said it was the sex that kept us together. Thats funny as we were only together 6 months before I became pregnant.

Anyway back to my libido or lack of. Each visit to the hospital I was asked the question about my libido. Why were they so interested in my sex life? I was told that my treatment had made the walls of my cervix very tacky (as in sticky) meaning that the walls of my cervix could pull together and close up. The best way to prevent this was regular intercourse. As you can imagine I did not greet this news with any enthusiasm. If anything my reaction was more one of utter horror. They actually expected me to have sex!! not only that but because I believe in fidelity that meant sex with HIM!!

Because I wasn’t having intercourse I was given a set of dilators to use on my vagina to keep me in working order. Yes I did use these but infrequently and only really the two smaller ones.  Besides it didn’t matter if my cervix closed up as that would be a really good excuse never to have sex again. I only needed a cervix if I was going t be having sex and I wasn’t.

But a year later I was given a new hormone treatment. Although it was big news in the media that HRT increases the risk of breast cancer, I was to continue having hormone replacement to reduce the risk of cancer o the womb. After a few days of taking these new tablets which were progesterone in addition to my 6 monthly implants of oestrogen and testosterone, my body reacted so violently that I felt as though I was in labour. Impossible !! so I knew it wasn’t that.

I saw my consultant who told me to continue taking the tablets. I scoured the internet and discovered that progesterone is known as the well woman hormone. Women who take progesterone feel so much better, younger and energetic but so many women don’t persevere long enough for the hormone to settle down, producing the desired effects. I persevered ‘for one more week’ just long enough to feel the benefits.

I don’t remember now but it must have been about 3 weeks from first taking these that I noticed the changes. I felt not 10 years younger but 20, my energy levels were far higher than ever before in my life. I am told that it was like watching someone on uppers, I couldn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time, I didn’t need to eat, I felt on top of the world. But if this wasn’t enough to cope with I suddenly became aroused and stayed aroused for 4 days and nights continuously. My libido had just rocketed from zero to 500% in one go. I could think of little else but my throbbing clit, the desire for stimulation and release. But what could I do, I had a husband who I did not desire, did not wish to have touching me. Masturbation was not an easy option, the privacy to do so was not easy to find, not whilst I was sharing a house with my husband and our sons.

Even while I was going through this frantic energetic time I was aware that I couldn’t stay like that for too long before I would come crashing back to earth with a bang. In less than a week the crash happened, I was at work, excused myself and went home as fast as I could to my bed. I felt very sick and incredibly tired. Next day I had recovered sufficiently to function normally again. My hormones were settling down, I still had more energy and felt as though I was about 20 yrs old. But the frantic racing around had subsided, I could get n with my life again. But there was just one small problem. This new libido that I was living with.

My sex drive had gone from zero to 500% in days and had now settled on a calmer but still much healthier 200%. What could I do? I desperately wanted in fact needed sex, but not with HIM. I didn’t and still don’t believe in cheating on my partner. I don’t condemn others for what they do but it is not something I can do. So I was stuck feeling incredibly horny but not wanting to do anything about it with the man who shared my bed. Weeks turned into months and I was still horny and unable to satisfy my need. My marriage had never been a good one, but now it was disintegrating, I felt that I would be better off without HIM. Both sexually and emotionally. Several times we reached the brink and drew back until that day when enough was enough. I filed for divorce, against his wishes and began sleeping on the sofa.

3 months later I could wait nolonger and began my quest to find the first new ma .n in my life for 20 years. I met Don, after a couple of dates  I was ready to sleep with him. I was very very nervous having only slept with one man for 20 years and only a few others before him. It was great, I couldn’t get enough, I found out that when aroused I squirt. I continued to see Don on and off for 6 months. He referred to me as a nympho, saying that he would wake in the night look at me and think …………oh no! she wants it again!  (and this was a man who thought of very little except sex).

When we broke up that summer I was very angry with him and determined that he was history. But that left me without sex. That was when I made a tentative exploration of the world that is Adult friend finder. On my profile I mentioned a need to find someone willing to show me more about sex. Within hours I was inundated with offers. Sifting through the messages selecting and rejecting I soon had a list of prospective men. Soon I was meeting men many of them became friends and quite a few became lovers although I did narrow them down to four regulars with another 40 to waiting meet me. My libido now was such that if I wasn’t having sex at least 3 or 4 times a week I became extremely frustrated. After an initial reticence I discovered that more and more I was drawn to married men. For a while I didn’t care if the men I was having sex with were married as long as I was having great sex with them. This phase lasted about 6 months before I calmed down and settled for my regular lovers. It was then that I began to experiment.

Posted in A friend in need, cocks, double standards, illicit encounters, married men, masturbation, randomness, sex mad, single men, skin on skin | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Car Parks

Posted by secretlynaughty on March 14, 2009

It has been pointed out to me that I seem to have a thing for car parks.

Perhaps this is because the person who pointed it out to me knows that over the last couple of years I have driven 2 to meet a man who lived 180 miles away. We decided to meet half wayish. When I arrived at the alloted service station he climbed into my car, we moved to a part of the car park furthes from the majority of other cars and began chatting. It wasn’t long before this turned into kissing and heavy petting, culminating in me climbing onto him so we could attempt to fuck on the passenger seat of my car. By the time I arrived home at 2am (with work the following day) I was exhausted from the 200 mile round trip.

It is also possible that this person knows about the time a man I had been chatting to drove for 2 1/2 hrs to meet me for dinner. After we had enjoyed our meal and (wow he was very handsome) we sat chatting in his car for a few minutes before he climbed onto me and shagged me in the only way you can in a small space.

Perhaps he knows about the time I had met a new FB at the same pub then gone with him to his camper van and proceeded to have oral sex with him in his van (curtains shut whilst others stood around outside chatting beside their cars with the lights directed on our van).

He does know about the married man I met oh yes in the same car park again!! last year on New Years eve. The same married man who after a year of silence has started chatting again and telling me he has had no sex in the last year. 

Maybe he knows about the time my lover and I started off in that same car park before driving through my town to a local beach resort to park in another car park away from all other vehicles, where we climbed into the back seat for some goodbye canoodling (he had found out that day he was being posted abroad in 3 days time ~ our affair was in its 5th week). We hadn’t been in eachother’s arms and although our clothes were in disarray we hadn’t got upto much when we were interupted by two cars parking on either side of us lights full on with the young male occupants peering in at us.  We got back into the front and drove off in search of a more private space, followed by one of the cars. We drove along the coast to another car park, one that was busy with couples out walking along the beach or people with dogs. We parked among the empty cars and watched the other car drive off. It was too crowded for us so we drove back out through my town and into the countryside until we ended up in our favourite forest carpark with just the wild life for company. Now we could get down to the serious business of saying goodbye.

He probably doesn’t know about my second date with Don way back at the start of my first new liason in 20 years. He had travelled by train to visit me and was staying in a bed and breakfast in a village the other side of town. we had been for a drink and  upon our return to my car he became amorous which I didn’t feel was a good idea in a busy town car park (parked under a street light) with the town police station looming along one side of the car park. So we drove out to the town’s football stadium and settled in a small side car park for some canoodling. It was not very comfortable with the handbrake digging into my ribs. He sucked and chewed so hard on my nipples that were not used to any attention that I bled. My nipples were sore for several days.

He may not know about the time another man had visited by train, after a few drinks we returned to my car and drove to another car park just a short walk away from the town centre mostly used by people working in town during the day. He didn’t take long to get my jeans around my knees as he finger fucked me, soaking the seat. But time was short for us that sunday evening as the last train back to his city was about 11pm.

However I believe what he really wants to know is what happened in the car park this last Monday and why am I now meeting this same guy again in two days time to spend a night with him in his former home whilst he is house sitting for his ex wife!!

Posted in blogging, car sex, dogging, married men, open air sex, sex mad, single men, skin on skin, voyeurism | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Sex mad

Posted by secretlynaughty on January 29, 2009

When I decided to end my marriage I got involved with Don. He was my first new lover for almost 20yrs. I was very nervous about it the first time but was soon back in the saddle. I rediscovered my love of sex after all those years of very little (inadequate) sex.  Don was sex mad it was virtually all he thought about. His computer was stuffed full of sex sites and his drawer full of porn dvds. His favourites on his browser was virtually only sex sites with the exception of ebay. There were many fetish sites, and leather/pvc outlets, bdsm allsorts. Much of which was completely new to me.

Great  I had met and thought I loved this new man in my life and sex was going to be wonderful or was it. There was a time for a few months when neither of us were working. This meant we had lots of opportunities for exploring sex together. But I discovered that as much as he was sex mad it was more of the virtual kind than real sex. He was always asking me to take sexy photos of myself. I found this hard at first but soon began to enjoy taking pictures to send him when he wasn’t around. But with my limited options I was getting bored with the pictures I was taking and would tell him that if he wanted new pictures he would have to take them himself, after all apart from anything else not only could he take different shots but he had a better camera and was talking about getting a tripod.

Armed with sexy lingerie I would go to his place expecting some hot photo sessions followed by hot sex. The reality was hours of him messing about with his computer, a quick drink in the pub across the road before heading back for a quick session in the missionary position then sleep. If I was lucky we might have a shot at 69 but that wouldn’t last long before he was pounding away in the good old missionary position.

I tried sending him pictures of positions from the Karma Sutra. Nothing interested him that could possibly be more complicated than what he was used to. Over the course of a year we broke up several times until January 2007 the last time we got back together. 

I thought we were having a break through, during the time we had been apart I had been indulging in sex with other men and had learnt a lot. I tried to interest Don in more positions, props, the idea of 3somes. Nothing would budge him from his position. Until one night he had bought me a pink feather boa. It was wonderfully soft to the touch and trailing it across my naked skin was so erotic, he took a couple of photos of me with the boa (one of which has been added to my gallery). Baby oil came into use, we even tried a couple of new positions (I can’t remember what they were now). I clearly remember thinking or sex life was about to improve.   Apart from the night he took a few photos of me with ice cream nothing had changed that night with the feather boa was merely a one off. It was only a matter of weeks before I broke up with him for the very last time.

What I don’t understand is how or why someone as mad about sex as he is won’t try to learn to get more out of sex. What is he afraid of? He used to wake up look at me and say to himself  ‘oh no, she wants sex again!’ He would call me a nympho. Now how many men in their early 40’s wouldn’t want to have a nympho in thier bed?

Posted in pictures, sex mad, skin on skin, wishing | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

Ice Cream

Posted by secretlynaughty on November 29, 2008

I just noticed that among the random posts that could possibly be related to my previous post ‘Unexpected’ was one entitled Ice Cream. I have not yet clicked on it to see what the connection could be. But it did get me thinking about the time when I was chatting online whilst eating an ice cream cone. I forget now which one of my admirers I was chatting to but I do remember that I became quite aroused, stripping off my top and bra so that I could rub some of the creamy coldness on my nipples.

Because I was enjoying the cold sensations on my sensitive nipples I told the man I was chatting to just what I was doing. This of course led to him encouraging me to do more. He wanted to see pictures but as I didn’t have the webcam installed and my camera was not working properly I came up with a plan. I have to admit it was very sneaky of me and I am not proud of what I did to get the relevant photos. But I really had enjoyed my session of sexy chat accompanied by the tingle of very cold ice cream on my nipples followed by the cool dribbles of melted goo as it slid down onto my warm belly. Much of it I was able to rescue as I held my voluptous breasts up to my face allowing my tongue to flick and lick at the creamy mess, before finally sucking the residue from my now erect stiff nipples.

So onto the sneaky bit. At the time I was still seeing Don although we were by now at the end of our on off relationship (he wasn’t yet aware that I was going to finish with him for good in the next few weeks). He later came online and I told him that I had been playing with some ice cream on my nipples. Now Don just like most men is sex mad (he has a lot of porn and his ‘favourite’ bookmarks on his computer are all extreme fetish,) but when it comes to real sex he is a novice and not interested in trying anything more than missionary or 69. He has a thing about eroic photography and has a good digital camera. He was always asking me to take photos for him. In the beginning I did do this for him and found that I enjoyed doing so but after a while I became bored. There are only so many different pictures you can take of yourself unless you have a very good camera with a timer and a tripod. So I would tell him that if he wanted more he would have to take them himself.

Now I had got his interest when I told him what I had been upto (obviously I didn’t mention the sexy chat I had been having at the time). So when he asked for photos I told him he would have to take them himself next time I saw him. He agreed so the next time he came over to stay I took an ice cream cone with me when I went to bed. Unfortunately Don took so long following me to bed that I had almost finished with my playing but he did manage to take a few photos. When he crawled into bed with me he sucked my nipples clean before we both fell asleep (what a waste …….well it would have been if I was with a different lover……I had already become bored of him by then). In the morning I managed to copy the photos onto my computer before he had even woken up. (just in case I had trouble getting the photos from him). I don’t think I have them any more though so maybe I shall have to have a replay and take some more what do you think? would you like to see my nipples covered in ice cream?

Posted in adult fantasy, Instant Messaging, pictures, randomness, skin on skin | Tagged: , , | 9 Comments »