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Beyond vanilla

Posted by secretlynaughty on December 19, 2010

The subject has arisen again.

BDSM, am I into it and if so in which role?

Am I Vanilla or not?

I suspect that anyone who is vanilla would if they knew what I have done in recent years,  say that I am not vanilla (that is if they even knew what being vanilla meant).

I suspect that anyone heavily into BDSM would say that I am little more than vanilla.

I was vanilla until a few years ago when I joined the world of sex bloggers. From the moment I began reading other sex blogs and discussing various aspects of sex with other sex bloggers my interest in sex beyond vanilla began to grow. Some of my favourite blogs from those early days have since ceased to be. Two of my favourite bloggers of that time were the very educational and sexy Cherrie and the delightfully adventurous La Fille. They are both missed (at least by me).

During this time I discovered in myself a need to try out a variety of things I had previously felt were no go areas for me.

There was the time a good friend (he was the one who introduced me to sex blogs in the first place) agreed to give me my first experience of being spanked/caned. I was astounded by my ability to cope with pain as have always believed myself to be a total wimp where pain is concerned. Since then sadly I have not experienced any further caning however I have been spanked (not seriously but in fun). Dave is quite happy to spank me and has also been the only man who has actually tied me up to a degree although others have said they would. Probably the most serious spanking I have had apart from that very first time was at the swingers party Dave took me to where my favourite room was the dungeon.

Who would have ever thought someone as shy and selfconscience as I would ever put on a show for doggers.

I have had many conversations with a variety of men about being in a Dom/sub relationship. This is something I am curious about and reading about it turns me on big time. But although quite a few men have shown an interest in the concept I have not found any who would do this with me properly. Some are merely interested in making a woman do whatever they want without caring about doing ao with care and love. I have discussed it with Dave as he seems to be the only one in my life who is capable of giving me the kind of sex I crave, but he says he could never be dominant.

I have had numerous conversations (mainly in the past) about whether I am submissive. I believe that I do have a tendency to allow my partner to lead me in sex. But there are times when I feel a need to be the one in control. There fore I believe that I am for the most part submissive but could never be totally controlled.

Ages ago I came across a BDSM quiz which I took and posted the results here. I think it would be interestin now to take the test again if it still exists just to see if the results come out the same as before.

BDSM Quiz

my result first time:

You Scored as Switch
(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch
96%
Experimental
89%
Submissive
86%
Bondage
82%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
75%
Masochist
71%
Dominant
61%
Sadist
54%
Degradation Lover
54%
Vanilla
21%

my result this time is :

You Scored as Switch

(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch
100%
Experimental
93%
Bondage
93%
Submissive
86%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
86%
Sadist
86%
Masochist
82%
Dominant
71%
Degradation Lover
46%
Vanilla
18%

Posted in adult fantasy, BDSM, being caned, bisexual, blogging, celebration of womanhood, cocks, dogging, Dom/sub, fetish, group sex, light bondage, mind fuck, pleasure pain, randomness, Sex bloggers, sex mad, skin on skin, spanking, Uncategorized, voyeurism | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Hot Bovril

Posted by secretlynaughty on December 12, 2010

It had been a few months since Borvil had found me online. We had chatted, as you do, discovered that we live in the same town. Bovril told me from the start that he is married and has never been unfaithful. Ok not a problem as we were only chatting online. I found that Bovril is not happy with his sexless marriage, nothing he does or says persuades his wife to have sex. aving chatted to a lot of married men over the last few years this seems to be a recurring theme. Hey I didn’t want sex with my husband in the last 10-15 years either so I can understand that.

He was interested in my sex life and the things I get upto. I allowed him access to my blog (not this one but one of my previous blogs). He enjoyed reading both my exploits and my stories. I teased him relentlesly (I do adore teasing). We decided to meet up for a coffee on the last working day before christmas. We met in the cafe of a local garden centre. Chatting over a hot drink for an hour was nice then we went our seperate ways.

The next day was christmas eve and I wrote my story about a chance meeting on Christmas eve. Later when I had finished all the shopping I planned to do I took myself off to the view point high above the city. I text Bovril to let him know I was going to get a cuppa at my favourite view. So I was not suprised when he arrived there.

He joined me in my car, we chatted and drank our tea/coffee. He did kiss me but that was all. So if you were expecting that my story had come true you will be disappointed. We both had to get home so didn’t stay too long.

But if you think that was the end of it ……………………no.

A few days later we did a re-run. A different car park but still with a view over the city. We were going to get a drink in the nearby pub but didn’t. Instead we chatted kissed, fondled. Remember he is married with no sex. He was feeling very aroused in my company, I was feeling very empowered. Here was this faithful married man wanting me to do things to him that he had been missing for years. I let him fondle my breasts, I tore open his fly, releasing his already hard member. After a few moments of caresssing him I bent my head down to taste him. By now we both had our seats reclined, the windows were completely steamed up. I took him into my mouth and gave him his first ever blow job. I still find it odd that some men have never experienced a blow job.

His hand was fumbling between my thighs, I slid my jeans down to give him better access where I wanted him. I am sorry to say that he was not very skilled. But I guess that is down to his lack of experience even though he has been married for over 20 yrs. When we parted company to drive home in the growing dusk he left feeling satisfied, I did not.

Over the following months we chatted frequently and it was clear he wanted to see me again, he wanted me to teach him, to make him a better lover, how to give his wife pleasure, to show him what he had been missing all this time. But as time passed it became obvious that there was never going to be a time when we were both free. Gradually we chatted less and less. Now we chat once every few months for a few minutes.

Posted in A friend in need, adult fantasy, affair, blogging, car sex, cocks, creative writing, illicit encounters, Instant Messaging, married men, skin on skin | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Happiness is ……

Posted by secretlynaughty on November 7, 2010

Happiness is having my mouth wrapped around the gorgeous cock of a lovely man while both he and his wife play with my nipples ūüėČ

Posted in celebration of womanhood, cocks, couples, girl on girl, married men, skin on skin | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

She did it

Posted by secretlynaughty on October 31, 2010

Recently I wrote that my libido was low my mojo was missing my sex drive has snuck away ………..how ever you like to say it my need for sex has been eluding me. Sorry nitebyrd if you thought the next post about my night with Nigel was my libodo returning (that post was about a night a few yrs ago after my first ever spanking/caning). It was what Riff would call a ‘filler post’.

A few minutes ago I decided to catch up on Yummy’s blog. Scrolling through a number of posts I had missed my eye caught on this line.

1 woman pushed a toy inside me while she was taken by the therapist

Just that one line did it for me, suddenly I was aroused and reaching inside my clothes, giving myself the first orgasm I had had in days and this one had not been premeditated. Thank you Yummy for helping me to find my libido again.

 

Posted in adult fantasy, bisexual, blogging, girl on girl, group sex, randomness, Sex bloggers, sex mad, sex toys | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

livin libido low

Posted by secretlynaughty on October 25, 2010

It has been a lovely sunny peaceful sunday morning. I was relaxing enjoying the delicious hot water and soft white bubbles of my bath when it happened. Time was my own, there was no rush like there is on a weekday morning. Lifting my right leg out of the water to rest my foot on the side of the bath and slid my hand down between my thighs.

Using my finger I pressed, rubbed and flicked but nothing happened, I was willing myself to climax. Nothing I did helped, there was no sign of arousal. I was thinking about this and the way I have been feeling lately. I have been feeling a lack of arousal. My recent lack of sex has not bothered me, if anything it has been more of a relief.

In the next couple of days I will be alone at home for a whole night whilst my remaining children are away from home. This would be an ideal time to invite either Karl or Dave to spend time alone with me in my home. It would be an ideal time to christen my bed. No man has been in my bed since I bought it 2.5 years ago. Yet I have not mentioned to either of them that this opportunity has arisen. Neither have I told Fred who I know would love to see me again. (He has been leaving me offline messages recently making it clear that if I had not been away last week he wanted to see me).

I have concluded that my libido is currently rock bottom. I don’t know how I can change that.

Posted in Instant Messaging, married men, randomness, sex mad, single men, skin on skin | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

A question for Fred

Posted by secretlynaughty on October 5, 2010

It has been a while since I last thought about Fred. I have not seen him since January, although we have chatted online maybe half a dozen times since then. As I was making my way home from work trying to concentrate on the rush hour traffic all around me, I looked up at the hill to where Cougar has one of his offices, the place he go to when he wants peace to work. The place with the big red leather couch (he calls it his casting couch). I have been contemplating paying him a visit this week. I won’t be having any unexpected visits after work from Karl so it would be easy to take the high road instead of the motorway and stop off for a cuppa and whatever else is on offer. I know that Cougar is leaving it to me to decide when to visit……he doesn’t think I will. Anyway my mind then wandered off from the idea of visiting Cougar to thinking about Fred. Now that he has sold his house and is living with friends it has made it near enough impossible for us to meet up.

When I first began seeing him (several years ago now) I wasn’t working and he visited me in my home whilst my kids were at school and his work took him out of the office. Then I started working and there was a long spell when we didn’t see each other, that had as much to do with a change in the dynamics of our relationship and I wasn’t able to trust myself to see him, as it was to do with the logistics of it. When I began going to his place in the evenings it worked for us until he sold his house, changed job and moved across the water. Fred will always have a special place in my heart. He is an excellent kisser and just about the only guy in my world these days who is able to give me a good fuck. ( I miss him for his mind and his body). Because it is not easy to see each other currently I tend not to think about him……I have enough going on with Karl, Dave and Cougar (even if that doesn’t involve a lot of satisfying sex). I don’t know why I had begun thinking about him, in my mind I was trying to work out how we could possibly get it together unless he was willing to get a hotel room.

Have you ever had those experiences when you think about someone and the phone rings and its them? Well it was less than 2 hours later I had just logged onto my computer and there was Fred. He wanted to ask my advice and was hoping to catch me online ………….not difficult as I am here most evenings at some point or other. It seems that he has been chatting to a woman who wants to meet him for sex only. Lucky guy you might be thinking, but he is having second thoughts. It isn’t the sex only bit that is worrying him, after all that’s what we were doing (if you don’t include the 4 yrs of friendship that went before during and after it). It isn’t her age (I really don’t remember him telling me that he fantasizes about older women). It isn’t her size (I am hardly a stick and he loves my body).

She has stipulated that there is to be no anal …………although we discussed it we never actual did get around to trying anal sex so that is not a problem. She has also decreed no oral sex. Now I thought he meant none at all. But she is more than happy for him to eat her out but she will not go down on him. He is not sure how he feels about this. Knowing how much he enjoys me sucking his cock especially when done to completion I am not sure he would be happy doing all the giving and not receiving much back. He has such a lovely cock I don’t know how any woman could resist sliding her mouth over it. The hours I have enjoyed teasing him with my tongue, licking and sucking, she must be mad.

So my question to you guys if you were Fred would you be happy to meet this woman knowing in advance that she will not give you a blow job but does expect you to eat her out?

Ladies would you be able to resist this lovely cock, Its a nice length ……..plently of length to lick, a decent girth to wrap your tongue around, not so big that it stretches your mouth but big enough to feel your mouth satisfyingly full. No leisions nothing at all that would put you off. Nice smooth balls just the right size to pop into your mouth for a good suck.

It really is a pity that the one day Fred is available for some daytime fun I shall be on a plane heading away for a few days. Because right now I would love to feel his lips on mine, his fingers tangled in my hair and his legs wrapped around mind as we re-aquaint each other with the body we each know so well. He has also expressed his disappointment that I won’t be around as he would uch rather see me. Maybe one day we will manage it.

Posted in A friend in need, adult fantasy, agony aunt, cocks, wishing | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

along came Jim

Posted by secretlynaughty on September 7, 2010

I see his photo most days on face book, I get the occasional email usually something he is sending to all his ‘friends’ a good cause email either to do with cancer or kids or ‘our heroes’. I don’t like the picture he is using now, I much prefer the one he has used the most. Maybe because that was the second picture I saw of him, (the first of his face). It was the picture I printed off and carried around for a while. Yeah I know cheesy right. (I don’t do that now).

After my marriage collapsed I had an on off affair with Don, after 6 months we booked a holiday together, the next day he dumped me for his other on off girlfriend aka TB (the bitch). I took my kids on holiday without him, that was a very subdued holiday. But before the holiday I had joined AFF, on the day I returned from the holiday I had a message from a new man not too far away slightly younger than me but not much, asking for a chance. There was just one problem………..his profile photo was of his erection. I had been drinking wine earlier and feeling bolshy told him that if he wanted a chance he had better change his photo.¬† I would not be able to recognise him if we ever met unless he was going to drop his pants in public. He soon sent me the photo that even now is indelibly imprinted in my mind.

We chatted on and off for a couple f days arranging to meet at the end of the week (the day after his birthday). All week¬† I felt such an incredible connection that I worried meeting him would be a disappointment. It wasn’t, we clicked right away, I didn’t even mind that he smoked. We seemed to get on well, I called him my toyboy even though there’s less than 2 years between us. He told me I had lied on my profile calling myself ‘ample’ when in his opinion I clearly wasn’t, (apart from the obvious).

We went for a drive, found a secluded car park. I climbed onto his lap on the back seat, it became a standing joke that I had soaked his trousers. Over the next few weeks we became close, when we were not together, there were text and IM everyday. Then came the day that he insisted we were going to meet at our usual meeting place. We had not made any earlier arrangement so this was a suprise to me. But a bigger suprise was still to come. Sipping our hot drinks as we chatted and kissed he told me that he had to tell me something I wouldn’t like. I wasn’t prepared for what he told me next.

Six months earlier he had applied for a job that would not only be a promotion but also take him closer to his children. I was pleased for him of course but this move was going to take him to Europe and happen in just 4 days time. He would be back from time to time and we would keep in contact. True to his word a month later we spent a night together in a hotel that we had stayed in before. This was the night he introduced me to my first sex toys. My first experience of having a vibrator used on me.

I had never known that a vibrator induced orgasm could be so incredible. That night was one of the best sexual experiences I had had to that date. The sight of Jim standing naked at the window smoking, watching a deer in the car park in the middle of the night will remain with me for a very long time. In the morning Jim gave me the vibrator he had used on me the night before. It was my first lady lust finger (maybe that is why I am so fond of them). He also gave me my orange dildo.

That morning as we kissed goodbye in the car park I had no idea that I would never see him again. A brief exchange of text messages that evening gave no clue that he was about to vanish from my life. He did not reply to any of my text messages or emails, nothing. I was very worried, although a civillian I knew that his work someties took him to places like Iraq and Afghanistan. I was convinced that something awful had happened. The silence was painful. A year passed and still nothing. I am sure you can imagine the shock I felt when out of the blue I received an email from Jim. It was nothing personal, just a chain email. I replied.

‘So you are still alive then’

A series of emails ensued from which I learnt that he had purposefully given me that last night together knowing that he planned to disappear from my life. He thought that I would get over him quicker that way. I don’t know when but he had decided to make his life in Europe with no plans to return to UK.

Posted in car sex, cocks, Instant Messaging, open air sex, sex toys, single men, skin on skin, Uncategorized, vibrators | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

suprise

Posted by secretlynaughty on September 3, 2010

“Have been asked by ‘sherry’ if you/us will meet her fb tonight and allow him¬† to play with you as a suprise birthday treat. Meet 10pm in car park.”

That was the suprise text I received from Dave whilst at work. I didn’t reply until I could get home and check out who this was. I found a profile of a local single female.

Dave text me again later.

hi what would you like to do tonight? If you want to text Sherry her number is ************* she is a midwife.

After thinking about this I decided against it.

hi this is sn I gather that you want to give your fb a b’day suprise. Unfortunately I am really tired tonight. Really sorry.

now Im gutted u ok hun x

yeah just get more tired as week goes by. I did give this serious thought though. Maybe another time.

cant u just watch him cum x

no sorry

pretty please x

By this time I was feeling suspicious. Dave was now online

what was the plan?

She wants us to meet her fuck buddy, its his birthday today she says. She wants you to suck him or let him cum over you. I told her it’s up to you.

I text her to say I’m too¬† tired which I am.

ok. by the way she saw us up on the hill that time.

She is trying to put pressure on me. I’m not sure this is a woman……….I think this is a single guy.

I think it might be too but her profile looks ok

how would she/he know they saw us?

she told me my licence plate number

ouch

must have a good memory

that’s not good that someone is keeping a record……… do you remember seeing any women?

was too busy………….there were other cars there.

how did the conversation get around to that and how did they make connection between a couple dogging in april an a couple on fab in sept?

She asked if I ever went dogging, I said I sometimes went on the hill, she said she did too. She recognised make of car.

I don’t like the sound of this………….I was worried before I said I was too tired but now it feels freaky.

yeah I thought so too

Wish I hadn’t text from my private phone now.

you should have let me text , never mind

this¬† ‘sherry’ is now asking if tomorrow is better……………have not replied

hmmm I did say that we were already busy……..I am IM’ing her but she/he’s not talking to me……….don’t reply

I have not heard anything more but I do think this was a single guy trying his luck. It is very un-nerving to think that they have kept a note of Dave’s reg number months later.

Posted in adult fantasy, car sex, dogging, Instant Messaging, masturbation, open air sex, randomness, voyeurism | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Because he’s a man

Posted by secretlynaughty on August 8, 2010

Is it because he is a man that he thinks this way?

It is only a matter of weeks since his wife told him she knew what he had been up to. She had got someone to do a search of his computer while he was out. She had suspected that he was messing about with other women. Apparently they found evidence of his meeting other women (I don’t know how far back this went) but they didn’t find anything about the two of us (he says). There were days of tears and heart to heart talks. He admitted that due to the way things were at home he was going elsewhere to find sex. His freedom to come and go has been reduced (understandably). There has been an increase in family events (showing a united front ~ that’s my guess).

At the start of this week he asked me what I was doing on Friday night. She is going out for a girly night and wouldn’t be home until Saturday. During the week I asked him what the plan was, maybe he was expecting to stay here (not very likely with my teenagers in the house). Perhaps he was thinking of booking a hotel room for the night……..lets hope he wasn’t expecting me to spend the night at his home.

We went out for a meal (very nice it was too) then driving back he said he had to go home to take a tablet he had forgotten to take with him. He parks up in his drive, gets out asking if I was coming in. No I’m ok here (he’s only going to be a minute so no point). He was literally only a minute (I counted) and we drove off to my place which is only about a mile away.

Once my youngest had ‘gone to bed’¬† after chatting to us for a while, we got down to being intimate. Kissing, cuddling, fondling, licking and sucking etc. It was very nice but didn’t go as far as I would have liked.¬† we were both very tired after a hectic working week. He went home at about midnight, the red wine I had drunk ensured that I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Last night we chatted on msn. He mentioned that he ad invited me into his home but been refused. He thought that it had been obvious that in asking me if I was coming in he was offering his home for us to have some fun in private. I had to explain to him that I couldn’t go into his house. (I have stayed there about half a dozen times in the last 17 months). I would not have been able to relax, I would have been paranoid that every sound was his wife coming home.¬† He replied that she had been out for the night and only came home mid afternoon.

Now maybe it’s because I am a woman that I felt uncomfortable with the idea of having sex in his wife’s home when she is less than 10 miles away. (on previous occasions she has been out of the country). Maybe it is because she now knows that he has been playing away from home. Maybe it is because I was married to a control freak who monitored my every move.

Especially as it has only been weeks since the fall out of his sexual life, I don’t understand why she is trusting him to behave while she is out. Wouldn’t she have rung the home phone to check he was there and when there was no answer wouldn’t she have rung his mobile. Wouldn’t she have been tempted to go home to make sure he was there (alone). If I was his wife I would be checking up on him more than she seems to be doing. I don’t know if that is because I am a woman or because that is the way my husband behaved (I was not playing a way and never did until I divorced him).

I said that she must trust him to behave………….his reply was that he had behaved himself………we didn’t have full sex. He believes that it is not sex if it is not full penetrative sex. Therefore he is behaving himself. I seriously doubt that his wife would see it that way. If my partner (I should be so lucky) had his cock in another woman’s mouth or his fingers/tongue in another woman’s pussy, I would not say……. that’s ok darling ,you were not having full sex, I accept that you were behaving yourself :). No if I ever found out that my partner was even kissing and cuddling another woman let alone indulging in oral sex (the clue is in the name …….oral SEX) I would definitely make my feelings known.

It would probably be the end of the relationship, either because I would end it there and then or because I would become a paranoid nightmare. Checking on him constantly that he was where he was meant to be and not with some floosie he was having sex with (I don’ t include myself under the title of floosie) and drive him away anyway.

So is it a typical male view that sex is only really sex if it includes full penetration?

I wonder if he would feel the same way if it was his wife who was doing what we do (with another guy) I suspect he would be very angry. I suspect he makes the rules to fit his own agenda. There is a lot of bravado when he is challenged, he will do what he wants and see who he wants and if she doesn’t like it tough!

I have long thought that he is very arrogant in the way he conducts his private life. He was bound to get caught out eventually. He thinks nothing of having a text conversation with me during a family meal. He wasn’t bothered about chatting to me in the pub when his wife was no more than 4′ away.

None of the other married men I have known have been so blazé about their sexual lives outside their marriage.

I don’t understand how a man can contemplate having sex with another woman in the home he shares with his wife especially if he still loves his wife. Certainly not in her bed (in this case she has a double bed while he has a single bed).

Maybe it is just me who thinks this way ……….after all I am having sex with her husband so why worry about using her home or even her bed too.

Posted in cocks, double standards, illicit encounters, Instant Messaging, married men, skin on skin | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

The lightest of touches

Posted by secretlynaughty on August 7, 2010

Crouching on the sofa, one foot on the floor the other at the back of the seat. A folded towel on the seat under me I bowed over his cock sucking and teasing. Licking at his balls restraining myself from sucking each of his balls into my mouth (I know he finds that painful). I could just about feel his fingers touching my lips just short of my clit. He was working blind under the red cloth of my long skirt.

It was hard to concentrate on his delicious cock as I tried to move so that his fingertips touched just where I ached to be touched. He was getting sooooo close, occassionally grazing the target with the lightest of touches. My pussy was on fire, I sucked harder needing so much to have the first orgasm of the night. He tells me that I am squirting like a goodun. His hand is soaked. I take his fingers into my mouth licking them clean, he stands presenting his cock at face level as I settle back into the arm of the sofa.

Gazing up at his face I see that he has half an ear to the door listening for movement upstairs, ready to grab his jeans if anyone came downstairs. My cunt is still aching for that first orgasm when he sits between my thighs telling me to lie back. Still his fingers explore my pussy but with the lightest of touches. This is torture when I want him inside me. I am about to beg him to lick me when he kisses my inner thigh……..heaven he is going to answer my silent prayer without me saying a word. But it isn’t his tongue it is his fingers that enter my pussy. Ok he is just warming me up, first he will work me into a frenzy with his fingers then he will treat me to his wonderful tongue stroking me where I most need it. When I have had enough of his tongue bringing me to great heights of orgasm I shall get him to sit upright while I swing my leg over his lap lowering myself onto his cock so that we can cum together.

But what happens?

He plunges his fingers into my pussy and within seconds I have become so hyper sensitive that I can bear his touch for a mere few seconds only before I am ckawing at his arm pulling his hand away. All that anticipation and before we get to the best part I am begging him to stop!!

I can’t believe my body could betray us both like that. I had wanted this soo much that when the action started to get going properly My body slammed on the brakes………….how dare my body do that to us.

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